Why Don’t We Talk About Things Deeply?
Earlier today, I was having a bite with a good mate when I mentioned that I was thinking about a question to discuss in my next newsletter. Straight away he says….“Talk about the stuff you don’t want to talk about”.
It went straight in me. How often do we actually talk about the things that matter most? What sits beneath the surface, the things that seem so tough to put into words?
So why don’t I (we) talk about things more deeply?
Depth is Scary !!
Talking deeply isn’t always easy. We’re conditioned to stick to safe, predictable topics—the latest news, work, family updates, surface-level stuff. But when it comes to our inner lives, our dreams, insecurities, and struggles, we tend to close off, keeping these conversations either brief or hidden altogether. I know how I am when I’m in a reactive state…..it can be like a brick wall !! Sometimes we avoid certain topics out of fear, maybe even discomfort. Other times, we just assume others wouldn’t care to listen. But there’s a cost to always staying at the surface. Without diving into the depths, we miss out on the clarity that can come only from facing difficult truths. Real connections, both with others and within ourselves, thrive on the willingness to ask—and answer—those questions that don’t have easy answers.
For instance, we might ask ourselves: Am I really ok with some things that are happening? Or the brilliant but basic….. What am I avoiding? These are uncomfortable questions, no doubt. But when we’re honest, we start to uncover parts of ourselves and feelings we may have buried long ago. Insights that can help us move forward, feeling more grounded and aware. So much can unfold from this type of enquiry.
Why Depth Matters……..One of the most profound things I’ve seen in my work is how transformative these conversations can be. When people give themselves permission to go deeper, they start to uncover the beliefs and patterns that have shaped their lives. They start to see not only where they’re headed, but why they’re headed there—and if it’s where they truly want to go.
An Invitation to Consider the Unspoken
So maybe my mate was right. Maybe we need to make more space to talk about what we don’t want to talk about. These aren’t the conversations we have over coffee in a crowded café. They’re rarely easy, and they don’t often come with quick solutions. But they’re real, and so important. Imagine if we all took the time to ask the questions that matter, both of ourselves and of those around us. What might we learn? What might we be able to let go of? And what might we finally be able to pursue, having cleared away what no longer serves us?
There’s power in depth. Let’s make space for it—not just once in a while, but as part of how we live, how we connect, and how we grow. If this resonates with you and you’re looking for a space to explore these deeper questions, my coaching and mentoring offer a space to uncover what truly matters, in life and work alike. Reach out anytime—I’d love to hear your story.
You can find more information as well as testimonials from former and current clients, on my website… www.paulcheika.com
You can contact me there, via LinkedIn or you can email me at paul@paulcheika.com