Writing with purpose and consistency

Taking the Leap….

Thanks for reading……

I've decided to have another crack at writing more consistently, moving beyond my usual ad hoc approach. The writing (and its public expression) has always been a bit of a struggle for me, and so it’s something I’ve decided to get friendly with. I’ll do my best to share some thoughts as well as promoting some of the amazing people and businesses that I get to work with. This commitment is primarily for my own growth and reflection, but if it resonates with others, then that’s a welcome bonus. To begin…..

Recently, I had an experience that encapsulated many of the complexities we face in relationships—whether with family, friends, or colleagues. It highlighted how challenging it can be to be truly honest with those we care about. The dilemma arises: where do we find ourselves when we hold back our thoughts to avoid hurting someone we love?

This struggle is deeply personal and often painful. It’s a reminder of the delicate balance we must maintain in our interactions. I've learned that in these moments of decision-making, the most important question to ask myself is:

Do my actions enlarge me, or do they diminish me?

When faced with a tough life choice, prioritise “enlargement” over happiness or personal satisfaction. As Jungian therapist James Hollis suggests, don’t ask, “Will this make me happy?” ask instead, “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?”

This question has become a guiding principle in my life.

The brilliant Oliver Burkeman writes… “We’re average at predicting happiness, often driven by desire for security. The enlargement question, however, taps into a deeper intuition. You usually sense whether staying in a relationship or job, though comfortable, would limit your growth. Similarly, don’t always fear burning bridges: irreversible decisions are often more fulfilling as they propel you forward into your choice.”

Choosing to speak or stay silent is not just about the immediate consequences but about aligning with who we are and who we want to become. It's a process of ensuring that our actions reflect our values and aspirations.

These insights are not only a part of my personal journey but are central to the mentoring work I do. As a mentor and coach, I help individuals and business leaders navigate these kinds of challenges, offering guidance that leads to clarity, growth, and positive transformation. If this resonates with you, or possibly someone you know, or you’re interested in exploring how personalised mentoring could support you in your journey, feel free to reach out.

I hope that by sharing these thoughts and experiences, we can start conversations that help us all navigate these challenging waters with greater empathy and understanding.

Looking forward to engaging with you more frequently and deeply through these reflections.

You can find more information as well as testimonials from former and current clients, on my website… www.paulcheika.com

You can contact me there, via LinkedIn or you can email me at paul@paulcheika.com

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think would like to receive it !